Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.

Prototype your life. Try stuff instead of making grand plans.

A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier.

You can’t reason someone out of a notion that they didn’t reason themselves into.

Treating a person to a meal never fails and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

If you are looking for something in your house and you finally find it when you’re done with it don’t put it back where you found it. Put it back where you first looked for it.

A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others.

The advantage of a ridiculously ambitious goal is that it sets the bar very high so even if your effort falls short it may exceed an ordinary success.

The best way to learn anything is to try to teach what you know.

Whenever you have a choice between being right or being kind be kind. No exceptions. Don’t confuse kindness with weakness.

Recipe for greatness: Become just a teeny bit better than you were last year. Repeat every year.

Whenever you can’t decide which path to take pick the one that produces change.

If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. Hang out with, and learn from people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you.

Rule of 3 in conversation: To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and then once more. The third time’s answer is the one closest to the truth.

Don’t be the best. Be the only.

Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them; they are waiting for you to send them an email; they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead.

The more you are interested in others the more interesting they’ll find you. To be interesting, be interested.

The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth to flossing.

If you ask for someone’s feedback you’ll get a critic. But if instead you ask for advice you’ll get a partner.

To move through a place you may not be permitted, act like you belong there.

Nothing elevates a person higher than taking responsibility for their mistakes. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is.

Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it were a poison.

Separate the processes of creating from improving. You can’t write and edit or sculpt and polish or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgment.

If you are not falling down occasionally you are just coasting.

Perhaps the most counterintuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.

Keep showing up. 99% of success is just showing up. In fact, most success is just persistence.

A vacation + a disaster = an adventure.

Don’t be in haste. When you are in a hurry you are more easily conned or manipulated.

To cultivate a habit switch your language from “I can or can’t do” to “I do or don’t do.” You shift the weight from a wavering choice to an unwavering identity.

When you get invited to do something in the future ask yourself: Would I do this tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.

Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will.

To earn bliss just for a moment send someone you don’t know a compliment for something they did.

When someone is nasty, hateful, or mean toward you treat their behavior like an affliction or illness they have. That makes it easier to have empathy toward them which can soften the conflict.

Don’t bother asking a barber if you need a haircut. Pay attention to incentives.

That thing that made you weird as a kid could make you great as an adult —if you don’t lose it.

Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better path for most youth is “master something.” Through mastery of one thing you’ll command a viewpoint to steadily find where your bliss is.

You are never too young to wonder “Why am I still doing this?” You need to have an excellent answer.

Life gets better as you replace transactions with relationships.

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.

To build strong children reinforce their sense of belonging to a family by articulating exactly what is distinctive about your family. They should be able to say with pride “Our family does X.”

If you are not embarrassed by your past self you have probably not grown up yet.

Outlaw the word “you” during domestic arguments.

Don’t let someone else’s urgency become your emergency. In fact, don’t be governed by the urgent of any sort. Focus on the important. The urgent is a tyrant. The important should be your king. Down with the tyranny of the urgent!

Don’t reserve you kindest praise for a person until their eulogy. Tell them while they are alive when it makes a difference to them Write it in a letter they can keep.

Fear is fueled by a lack of imagination. The antidote to fear is not bravery; it looks more like imagination.

Don’t create things to make money; make money so you can create things. The reward for good work is more work.

Leave a gate behind you the way you first found it.

In 100 years a lot of what we take to be true now will be proved to be wrong, maybe even embarrassingly wrong. A good question to ask yourself today is “What might I be wrong about?” This is the only worry worth having.

Learn how to tie a bowline knot. Practice in the dark. With one hand. For the rest of your life you’ll use this knot more times than you would ever believe.

The greatest rewards come from working on something that nobody has words for. If you possibly can work where there are no names for what you do.

On the way to a grand goal celebrate the smallest victories as if each one were the final goal. That way, no matter where it ends you are victorious.

In all things—except love— start with the exit strategy. Prepare for the ending. Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

Don’t aim to have others like you; aim to have them respect you.

The foundation of maturity: Just because it’s not your fault doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility.

Compliment people behind their back. It’ll come back to you.

Most overnight successes —in fact, any significant successes— take at least 5 years. Budget your life accordingly.

You don’t need more time because you already have all the time that you will ever get; you need more focus.

Your best response to an insult is “You’re probably right.” Often they are.

Be strict with yourself, forgiving of others. The reverse is hell for everyone.

When a child asks an endless string of “Why?” questions, the smartest reply is “I don’t know, what do you think?”

You will complete your mission in life when you figure out what your mission in life is. Your purpose is to discover your purpose. This is not a paradox. This is the way.

With sharp things always cut away from yourself.

Calm is contagious. Be calm to help others.

When someone tells you something is wrong, they’re usually right. When they tell you how to fix it they’re usually wrong.

You are only as young as the last time you changed your mind.

It is much easier to change how you think by changing your behavior than it is to change your behavior by changing how you think. Act out the change you seek.

Don’t worry how or where you begin. As long as you keep moving, your success will arrive far from where you start.

Each time you connect to people bring them a blessing; then they’ll be happy to see you when you bring them a problem.

The work on any worthy project is endless, infinite. You cannot limit the work so you must limit your hours. Your time, not the work is the only thing you can manage.

You can reduce the annoyance of someone’s stupid belief by increasing your understanding of why they believe it.

Children totally accept —and crave—family rules. “In our family we have a rule for X” is the only excuse a parent needs for setting a family policy. In fact, “I have a rule for X” is the only excuse you need for your own personal policies.

Bad things can happen fast but almost all good things happen slowly.

To succeed, get other people to pay you; to become wealthy, help other people to succeed.

Your behavior, not your opinions will change the world.

A problem that can easily be solved with money is not really a problem because its solution is obvious. Focus on problems with non-obvious solutions.

Every person you meet knows an amazing lot about something you know virtually nothing about. It won’t be obvious and your job is to discover what it is.

Cultivate 12 people who love you because they are worth more than 12 million people who like you.

Always be quick to give credit and to take blame.

Don’t let your email inbox become your to-do list run by others.

Take one simple thing —almost anything— but take it extremely seriously as if it is the only thing in the world —or maybe the entire world is in it— and by taking it seriously you’ll light up the sky.

Don’t ever work for someone you don’t want to become.

You have to first follow the rules with diligence in order to break them productively.

The greatest teacher is called “doing.”

Anything you say before the word “but” does not count.

The consistency of your endeavors (exercise, companionship, work) is more important than the quantity. Nothing beats small things done every day which is way more important than what you do occasionally.

Efficiency is highly overrated; goofing off is highly underrated. Regularly scheduled sabbaths, sabbaticals vacations, breaks, aimless walks and time off are essential for top performance of any kind. The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic.

Speak confidently as if you are right but listen carefully as if you are wrong.

Criticize in private, praise in public.

Your growth as a mature being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have.

The four most powerful words in any negotiation should be uttered by you: “Can you do better?”

Three things you need: the ability to not give up something till it works the ability to give up something that does not work and the trust in other people to help you distinguish between the two.

When you are in the wrong be quick to chastise yourself more severely than the aggrieved might. Paradoxically, this can soften their ire.

When you feel like quitting just do five more: 5 more minutes, 5 more pages 5 more steps. Then repeat. Sometimes you can break through and keep going but even if you can’t, you ended five ahead. Tell yourself that you will quit tomorrow but not today.

What you do on your bad days matters more than what you do on your good days.

Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone.

The best way to get a correct answer on the internet is to post an obviously wrong answer and wait for someone to correct you.

Don’t wait for the storm to pass; dance in the rain.

Make stuff that is good for people to have.

Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks even if you believe it is not deserved.

When you don’t know how much to pay someone for a particular task ask them, “What would be fair?” and their answer usually is.

The general strategy for real estate is to buy the worst property on the best street.

If you’re doing something that you are hiding from others it’s probably not good for you.

Make others feel they are important; it will make their day and it will make your day.

Constantly search for overlapping areas of agreement and dwell there. Disagreements will appear to be edge cases.

You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.

Let someone know you remembered their name and they won’t ever forget yours. To help remember their name repeat it on first hearing.

Your best job will be one that you were unqualified for because it stretches you. In fact, only apply to jobs you are unqualified for.

A wise man said: Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”

The only productive way to answer “What should I do now?” is to first tackle the question of “Who should I become?”

Take the stairs.

It’s thrilling to be extremely polite to rude strangers.

Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone because when you trust the best in others they generally treat you best.

Take note if you find yourself wondering “Where is my good knife?” or “Where is my good pen?” That means you have bad ones. Get rid of those.

Purchase the most recent tourist guidebook to your hometown or region. You’ll learn a lot by playing the tourist once a year.

When you are stuck explain your problem to others. Often simply laying out a problem will present a solution. Make “explaining the problem” part of your troubleshooting process.

When introduced to someone make eye contact and count to four or say to yourself, “I see you.” You’ll both remember each other.

Prescription for popular success: do something strange. Make a habit of your weird.

Don’t compare your inside to someone else’s outside.

Explore or optimize? Do you optimize what you know will sell or explore with something new? Do you order a restaurant dish you are sure is great (optimize) or do you try something new? Do you keep dating new folks (explore) or try to commit to someone you met? The ideal balance for exploring new things vs. optimizing those already found is ⅓. Spend ⅓ of your time on exploring and ⅔ on optimizing and deepening. As you mature it is harder to devote time to exploring because it seems unproductive but aim for ⅓.

Occasionally your first idea is best, but usually it’s the fifth idea. You need to get all the obvious ideas out of the way. Try to surprise yourself.

Don’t bother fighting the old, just build the new.

You are as big as the things that make you angry.

If you want something to get done ask a busy person to do it.

If you repeated what you did today 365 more times will you be where you want to be next year?

Rather than steering your life to avoid the unexpected aim directly for it.

If your opinions on one subject can be predicted from your opinions on another you may be in the grip of an ideology. When you truly think for yourself your conclusions will not be predictable.

Don’t purchase extra insurance if you are renting a car with a credit card.

The trick to making wise decisions is to evaluate your choices as if you were looking back 25 years from today. What would your future self think?

To be interesting just tell your own story with uncommon honesty.

The main reason to produce something every day is that you must throw away a lot of good work to reach the great stuff. To let it all go easily you need to be convinced that there is “more where that came from.” You get that in steady production.

You will thrive more —and so will others— when you promote what you love rather than bash what you hate. Life is short; focus on the good stuff.

It is easy to get trapped by your own success. Say no to tasks you probably won’t fail at and say yes to what you could fail at.

Unhappiness comes from wanting what others have. Happiness comes from wanting what you already have.

To get your message across follow this formula used by ad writers everywhere: simplify, simplify, simplify, then exaggerate.

Pay attention to who you are around when you feel your best. Be with them more often.

What you do instead of work might become your real work.

Your golden ticket is being able to see things from other people’s point of view. This shift enables heartfelt empathy. It also allows you to persuade others and it is the key to great design. Mastering the view through the eyes of others will unlock so many doors.

If you think that something “goes without saying,” it is usually best for everyone if you just go ahead and say it.

Five years from now you will wish you had started today.

If we all threw our troubles into a big pile and we saw everyone else’s problems we would immediately grab ours back.

To have a great trip, head toward an interest rather than to a place. Travel to passions rather than destinations.

Fully embrace “What is the worst that can happen?” at each juncture in life. Rehearsing your response to the “worst” can reveal it as an adventure and rob it of its power to stall you.

Anger is not the proper response to anger. When you see someone angry you are seeing their pain. Compassion is the proper response to anger.

When you find something you really enjoy do it slowly.

Assuming you are average half of the world will be less proficient than you. Through no fault of their own many of these people can’t handle forms complex instructions, or tricky situations. Be kind to them because the world is not.

It is impossible for you to become poor by giving. It is impossible for you to become wealthy without giving.

Try hard to solicit constructive criticism early. You want to hear what’s not working as soon as possible. When it is finished you can’t improve it.

To get better at speaking watch a recording of yourself speaking. It is shocking and painful but an effective way to improve.

Don’t attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence.

The best way to advise young people is to find out what they really want to do and then advise them to do it.

It is usually much easier to make big audacious changes than small incremental ones.

You choose to be lucky by believing that any setbacks are just temporary.

For a great payoff be especially curious about the things you are not interested in.

We are unconsciously distracted by seeing our reflection. You can alleviate a lot of the fatigue of teleconferencing all day if you turn off your self-view.

Read the books that your favorite authors once read.

When you can’t decide ask yourself, “Which choice will pay off more later than now?” The easy choice pays off right away. The best choice will pay off at the end.

As long as an idea stays in your head it is perfect. But perfect things are never real. Immediately put an idea down into words or in a sketch, or as a cardboard prototype. Now your idea is much closer to reality because it is imperfect.

First, always ask for what you want. Works in relationships, business, life.

Curiosity is fatal to certainty. The more curious you are the less certain you’ll be.

Your opinion on a contentious issue gains power when you can argue the opposite side as well as they can.

Your best teacher is your last mistake.

On the dashboard of every gasoline car is a symbol of gas pump with a little arrow. The arrow points to the side of the car that accesses your gas tank. Remember this when you borrow or rent a car.

Spending as little as 15 minutes (1% of your day) on improving how you do your thing, is the most powerful way to amplify and advance your thing.

The greatest killer of happiness is comparison. If you must compare, compare yourself to you yesterday.

Don’t define yourself by your opinions because then you can’t change your mind. Define yourself by your values.

The rich have money. The wealthy have time. It is easier to become wealthy than rich.

If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go further, go together.

Your best photo portrait will be taken not while you are smiling but when you are quiet a moment after you have been laughing. Use a photographer who makes you laugh.

When making plans you must allow yourself to get lost in order to find the thing you didn’t know you were looking for.

The natural state of all possessions is to need repair and maintenance. What you own will eventually own you. Choose selectively.

To write about something hard to explain write a detailed letter to a friend about why it is so hard to explain, and then remove the initial “Dear Friend” part and you’ll have a great first draft.

Commit to doing no work no business no income one day a week. Call it a sabbath (or not). Use that day for resting, recharging, and cultivating the most important things in life. Counterintuitively, this sabbath will prove to be your most productive act all week.

Embrace pronoia which is the opposite of paranoia. Choose to believe that the entire universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success.

When you are stuck, make a long list of everything that cannot possibly work. On that list will be a seed that leads to a solution that will work.

Re-visioning the ordinary is what art, literature, and comedy do. You can elevate mundane details into magical wonders simply by noticing them.

Aim to die broke. Give to your beneficiaries before you die; it’s more fun and useful to them. Spend it all. Your last check should go to the funeral home and it should bounce.

See that old person taking forever in line? That is the future you. Have patience.

Invent as many family rituals as you can handle with ease. Anything done on a schedule —large or small, significant or silly— can become a ritual. Repeated consistently small routines become legendary. Anticipation is key.

The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.

Life lessons will be presented to you in the order they are needed. Everything you need to master the lesson is within you. Once you have truly learned a lesson you will be presented with the next one. If you are alive that means you still have lessons to learn.

Very few regrets in life are about what you did. Almost all are about what you didn’t do.

Advice like these are not laws. They are like hats. If one doesn’t fit, try another.